Saturday, February 11, 2006

the "v" word

As a woman I think it may be in my nature to need a good emotional release from time to time. Sometimes it could be a nice cup of tea and a book, a bubble bath, a walk in the park, or sometimes I call on a friend to 'vent' it out. Yes venting. The dreaded "v" word. We all do it and most of the time it's definitely warranted and necessary for survival. But can a vent go too far? I say yes.

There's an issue that I just need to get off my chest, so I call my friend Susie, fictitously speaking, and I let it all out. Initially this is done to get perspective or insight into the situation, but if Susie is having a bad day she may not be equipped to deal with my vent in a positive manner and the vent turns into a gossip session.

The need to justify why you feel the way you do about the issue is the reason for the vent in the first place. What we don't consider is by the time we reach the fifth friend that we just have to vent to, it's no longer merely "getting it off your chest," it's this treacherous cycle of negativity and bad mouthing someone else. Because let's face it, most of our vents have to do with what others are doing wrong.

Some people just let things consume them so much that the ones around them start to need a good vent about them. Yes, I'm speaking about myself here. Well, enough is enough already. There's absolutely nothing wrong with letting it out, but letting it go must follow. If not, then you end up breeding this big ugly negativity monster that is so contagious it spreads like wild fire and an apology will never suffice at putting it out. You can't take it back and before you know it you've burned down the whole damn forest with your one little vent session.

Let it out and then let it go.

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